Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

I thank You for being in control of the things that we are afraid of. 

I thank You for being in control of the things that confuse us. 

I thank You for being in control of the things we think are too difficult for us. 

I thank you for being in control of the things we think might hurt us. 

Because with that, we don’t have to fear. We don’t have to know all the answers. We don’t have to be superhuman. And we don’t have to be in pain. 

Those are choices we make. 

You are also a choice. 

THE choice. 

Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Things I want to be: 

Compassionate

Empathetic

Wise

Gentle

Strong

Brave

Virtuous

Dedicated

Resilient

Gracious

Warm

Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

One thing I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is just being diligent to follow where YOU (only You) are leading me. 

I think sometimes I get so excited about an idea or future plans, and then I listen to other people’s opinions and I start to doubt if I’m doing the right thing by You. 

I’m blessed to have really good, wise, and grounded people all around me....

BUT....

That doesn’t mean I should listen to them over You. 

If I’m praying, and reading Your word, I’ll know what’s right. And chasing after You in any form is always going to be a “right answer” for me. 

I pray that I’m spending enough time in Your word, and quality time with You, that I know with a strong magnetism where You want me to go. What chances You want me to take. I REALLY really want this, and now that I’ve noticed, I will work SO hard on it. 

 

Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Please help me feed my soul with good things - things that glorify You. Encouraging things. Beautiful things that show me more of who You are. 

Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Simple joys. 

That’s what I’m thankful for today. 

People. 

Baking brownies. 

Watching 80s movies. 

Just little joys You give me, everyday. It makes me feel like myself. It makes me feel like I’m accepting and enjoying this gift of life You have given me. It makes me feel romantic about life. It makes me feel the syrup of happiness. 

And that all tells me more of You. 

YOU ARE all of those things. 

Please never stop reminding me of You. 

Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Thank You for never giving up on me. 

Thank You for never giving up on me. 

Thank You for never giving up on me. 

Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Why is it - when thinking about surrendering everything to You - it’s so easy to leave the good things at Your feet but it’s SO dang hard to leave the failures, the disappointments, and the burdens?

Maybe because when I’m leaving the good things, it’s like “I made this! For You! I can’t wait to see what You do with it! You can share it, or You can keep it in a secret place. I really don’t care; I just want You to have it.”

But when it’s my failure, sin, shame, or anything I perceive as bad...well, it feels like I’m unloading it on You. And to be honest, it makes me feel like I don’t deserve Your grace, or Your mercy, or any blessings past this point. 

I know that’s a totally screwed up mindset, but sometimes I can’t get past feeling this way. I want to share my victories with You. And I do bring the failures also...but I feel guilty about it. I can’t look You in the eyes, because it hurts too much. 

Anyway. Just a (brooding much?) thought for today. 

I pray that You will help me RECEIVE Your grace and mercy better. And I also pray that I’ll unashamedly lay it all down at Your feet. In the times when there are more successes and failures, but also especially the times when there are more failures than there is success. Because those are the times I need to lean on You and Your mercy the most. And those will be the times I have a spiritual breakthrough - the kind that draws me even closer to You. 

Prayer

If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Please prepare me for the things I’m praying for right now. 

I know I’m not prepared to receive them, but I still desperately pray for them. Do a good work within me. Work on my heart. Help me grow quickly, so I am mature enough to handle the receiving of these things. 

Keep working on me, Lord.

Please, please prepare me for the things I’m praying for. 

Prayer

 If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Just thinking about “having encounters” with You. And what that means, and I thought: what if it’s not some big, life-changing, mountaintop experience??

Because in reality, that’s not how You speak to us - at least not to me. 

You speak quietly, so we can only hear You when we quiet ourselves enough to do so. When we listen intently. 

So what if encounters aren’t big revelations, what if they’re more like dreams? You know, those kind of dreams that are so real and so vivid that when you wake up, you are changed. You are in a good mood, you feel lighter. You feel free. You know you’ve experienced something great but...you don’t remember the dream. That’s the thing. Like, if pressed, it couldn’t be described or relayed back....but you KNOW. Because you felt. You experienced. 

Sometimes I think encounters with You are like that. We may not be able to describe what or where or when it happened, but something - YOU - pierced our soul. You stirred something within us. You sent a lightening bolt right to our hearts. 

That’s how we know. That’s how we know You are real and You are ALIVE and You are You. 

If it was so obvious, we wouldn’t need faith. 

Idk....is that weird? It’s just something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. I think encounters are more like dreams and deja vu. And we get to experience You with just a sharp spark of a moment. And when we get to Heaven, we’ll experience that “moment” at its full capacity and glory. And it’ll all make sense. 

Prayer

    If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Please silence the voice in my head that tells me to be fearful, anxious, or nervous in any way. Especially about my future. 

Fear is not a thing that comes from You. 

Prayer

    If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Dear God,

Today You reminded me that Your grace and mercy live in Your people - in the people around me. And I so desperately needed to hear that. Because I feel like I’m not at my 100% best, and I know I need a little extra mercy right now. So thank You for all the people that are being forgiving and patient and kind to me...and most of all, reflecting Your love in doing so. 

Prayer

   If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

I have been thinking: I want to experience something deeper when I pray. I have been thinking a lot about “the secret place,” and I want my own secret place with You. I feel like my prayers are so two-dimensional, and I want them to be supernatural. I want to EXPERIENCE You. I want Heaven to send a little lighting bolt through my heart. Wake me up to the true You. 

To do this, I’m going to have to find my secret place with You. 

And to do THIS, I have to seek You and have You draw me into YOUR presence, not try to bring You down to my presence. 

I can sit in my room (or wherever) and picture me and You having a real relationship type of conversation. Because then I have brought You down to my level (literally,) and I’m not focused on being Kingdom-minded. I’m still Earth-minded. And besides, why would I want to limit Your majesty in that way?!

To keep my thoughts and my life and my everything Heaven-minded, I have to be drawn into YOUR presence. That’s the only way I can pray and experience Your supernatural peace, comfort, joy, and love. 

Just something I’ve been dwelling on. 

Please help me have a breakthrough here. I really want to find my secret place with You, and go there ALL the time. And change the game. 

<3 

Letter

 

Prayer

  If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

Dear God,

Thank you for being mine. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for pursuing me so fervently, yet so gently. 

I love You with absolutely all of my heart. 

I love that You choose me, even when I feel I am not worth choosing. 

I love that when I mess up - when I know I disappoint You and break Your heart - You are waiting for me to come back to You. Arms open, ready to embrace me. 

I love that You have recently placed so many good people in my life. Mentors, whether they know it or not. That love You with all of THEIR hearts, and lead me by their example. People who know me and my heart for You. People who lift me up. People who inspire me. 

I love You for giving me a family who cares about me. 

I love You for possessing both a fierce strength and a tender compassion. 

I love every stranger I meet, because with each one, I learn a little something about You. 

I love that people I can’t stand are Your children first, and that calls me out on my crap. It makes me grow. 

I love this time alone with You lately. I always knew I needed it, but I didn’t know exactly what to do to get here. 

I love that You know every single part of me. And You don’t reject any of it. 

I love You for encouraging me and never belittling me. 

I love Your creation. I love Your art. 

I live for You. Every new thing I discover about You makes me love You more. I want to keep discovering. I want every single day for all of eternity to be an adventure with You and a discovery of You. About You. I can’t (obviously) put into words the true yearning I feel - the true love I feel - and that’s one reason I love You most. Because You know my heart, without me saying a word. 

I love You, Lord. 

I just want You to know. 

<3

Prayer

  If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

 What are You trying to teach me?

What issues in my heart are You trying to raise through this?

What is it You want me to see?

What are You asking me to let go of?

Me help me love what You love and hate what You hate. 

Prayer

  If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab!

You just SHOOK ME with a message I needed to hear. And You knew I needed to hear. 

In case I read this and want to watch it again, it’s “The Gospel in 3 Days: Friday: A Crucified Messiah” from the 2019 Bible Lectures. 

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWW. 

It spoke to my heart, because I’ve been wanting to be able to grasp the crucifixion better. As an empath, the fact that I can’t be moved to rear literally every time I even remotely think about.....really bugs me. 

And this man was kind of saying the same thing. But he literally slaughtered his own lamb, so he could FEEL the true meaning of the ultimate sacrifice. He also told of a miracle where some man got sores on his hands and feet after pursuing this specific type of intimacy. 

I don’t really want to slaughter a lamb, and if You want to give me sores on my hands and feet...I mean, that’s fine....don’t necessarily want that either, BUT... I would take it. If it helped me feel the true magnitude of the cross. 

I’m just praying, as an empath, to help me tap into that emotion. I want to be more moved when I think about this. I feel like, by nature, I (maybe all of us?) have suppressed it. Because it IS too painful. 

But we know how it ends. And I am mature enough to handle it. Even if it breaks me, I feel like I need to experience this intimacy. 

So...I’m not gonna lie, this is a scary prayer. Because I don’t know how it will be answered. But I think it’s important - no, VITAL - in my relationship with You. Especially if I’m seeking to go deeper and deeper into relationship with You. 

There are certain things in the church that we subconsciously suppress, because they are either too painful or too much for us to handle - too great in magnitude to grasp, so we don’t even try. We go with the more basic things. Easier to grasp. To understand. 

But I want something so much more than that, Lord. I’m not of this world; I don’t want to confine my thinking and my being to just this world. 

I care about my relationship and YOU too much. 

So please help me encounter. 

Help me feel. 

Help me weep with overwhelming emotion. 

I want a crazy-passionate love that is unexplainable. Only to be experienced. 

I just want more You. Of knowing You. Of loving You. Of feeling You. 

Blue Bell and the Bible: A Word About Body Image

 I recently had a conversation with my best friend about body image. It's not uncommon for this type of conversation to happen...like...ALL the time amongst girlfriends. Why? Because it is something we think about constantly. 

After the conversation ended, I began to think and I asked myself: Why is this such a problem with women? (By the way, I want to say now that it is not just a "girl thing." Guys struggle with this, too. I think that the extent to which we dwell on it, though, is *astronomically* greater than men.) 

It brought up so many questions within me?

Where are we getting our standard of beauty?

Do we just assume women in Bible times were all knockouts, with no rolls or cellulite?

Most of all:

Why can we accept and embrace that we were made in God's image when it comes to morality and personality, but we cannot wrap our minds around it when talking about our physicality?

Because the fact of the matter is - when someone compliments me on my joyful personality or my empathy or my sincerity - I can accept it. I can believe those qualities came from God. I can believe I am created in God's image.

When someone compliments my trustworthiness, or my dedication, or even my goofiness, I can accept it. I like those qualities in myself. I believe those qualities help make up who I am as a child of God.

But if you made me strip down to my most vulnerable state and stand in front of a mirror and just...look...

I wouldn't be so accepting. I would see the stretch marks, the cellulite, the fact that I still, (despite trying,) don't have abs. (Now you see where the Blue Bell comes into play.) I would be forced to look at my side profile that I have hated since the day a girl told me I look like a witch from the side. I would see my giant hips and my untoned arms, my wonky knees, and my cankles. 

But I wouldn't see God. 

I wouldn't see His hand in this creation.

I wouldn't see that the time, the care, and the passion He put into this physical being. It would be unfathomable for me to imagine Him stepping back, admiring this masterpiece, and saying to Himself when He was finished -- "Yes. It is perfect."

Why?

Why, then, do I disrespect Him like this??

It is true that my body is a temple; why do I look at it like it's a graffitied, abandoned warehouse? Why do I also treat it as such?

So many blog posts and articles will tell you that God looks at the heart. And that's true! Inner beauty is of the upmost (Lol that's a New Girl reference..anyone? Anyone catch that?) importance.

But don't discount your beauty. The wholeness of Your beauty.

That's inside, that's outside, that's EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT YOU.

God created You just exactly how He wanted you to be.

You don't get to pick that apart. 

You ARE beautiful. 

You ARE "Imago Dei" -- a reflection of the beauty of God Himself.

You are exactly you. And God made no mistake. You are His perfect and truly beautiful masterpiece.

Start seeing that version of you.

Start loving that version of you.

Letter

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Prayer

 If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab! 

 I wish I could be braver. 

All of these doors You are showing me, potentially opening up for me...and I’m so scared to move forward. 

I know I need to move forward. I know I want to move forward. But I’m such a small, scared little girl in this world.  

Please help me to be brave. I don’t want to block blessings from You. And I don’t want to keep other people from receiving blessing that You might use me for. 

I’m so scared. I never know exactly what to do or how to take care of myself. I have always had a hard time with being independent. 

But this is a great time to lean on You. And let You show me Your power. And let You comfort me and give me peace. And to follow where You are leading me. 

Please help me be braver for You. And please help me just do it - just follow where You lead me - even if I’m scared. 

Prayers

 If you're following along with me, I want you to be able to see the heart behind my efforts. That's why I created the "Prayers" tab. This is the place where I will get a little vulnerable and share some excerpts from my personal prayer journal. (Not all of them, because I do believe in having "a secret place" with God.) I hope sharing some of my triumphs and struggles helps encourage you in your own journey. It's a little scary, but sharing my spiritual walk with you is the MOST important to me. Of course, if you have prayer requests of your own, send them to me via the "contact" tab! 

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Mirror, Mirror

 This tab is all about who we are. It's a place for makeup and other girly things, of course. But, more importantly, it is about our identity. This is a great place to start if you are interested in digging deeper into your identity as a daughter of the King.